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When Things Get Scary, Where Do I Turn?

Well hi there! It's been over five months since I've posted, but I have something I would like to share with you guys today (today, tonight, this morning? I don't know any more! My mind's not completely functioning after midnight at this point!)

My post today comes from the first chapter of Lisa Harper's book, "Stumbling Into Grace" (thank you Miss Jennifer M. for the book!) She starts her first chapter with a quote from D. A. Carson, which says,
"Why is God doing this? Though it is blasphemous to think it, our whole being cries out that this is unfair of him, that our grief and pain are disproportionate to our sin, that we have been abandoned."
Do you ever feel that way? I know I do, and I recently had that feeling (will share more on that story in a minute).

 Lisa shares her own personal examples of being scared in this introduction. But after describing some scenarios in her life where she's felt anxious or scared, she includes a small paragraph that caught my attention as I read this today. She says,
"I've burned up way too much emotional energy being afraid of not being good enough, sweet enough, thin enough, or spiritual enough. And I've been especially anxious about being perceived as afraid, because I always assumed being afraid was a bad thing. However, I'm discovering that being afraid is simply a people thing."
This made me stop for a minute as I read and re-read her words. I thought about how many times I've been anxious about anything and everything that has gone wrong, or that could go wrong. But that's not what God commands us to do at all. Numerous times in His Word, He tells us to trust Him, and follow His leading.

Think of 2 Timothy 1:7 - "for God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." That fear and anxiety we find so often in our lives doesn't come from God! But do you see something else in the second half of the verse? God did not put the fear into our lives, but He did give us a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. I heard it put the best way a few weeks ago. "If you're worried, you can't be trusting God; if you're trusting God, you can't worry. It is humanly impossible to both worry and trust God at the same time!" Oh these words could not be more true! Have you ever realized that? The workload becomes overwhelming, an unexpected bill comes, or a sudden illness knocks you down for a bit, and the first thing we humans do is freak out about it! We get so consumed about how we will be able to finish the work, or concerned that the sickness will keep us out of work for too long, rather than first turning to our Shepherd, the One who provides security.

Lisa continues with a Scripture passage from Luke 12:22-32. This part of Luke is when Jesus is talking to those around him after telling them the parable of the rich fool. He says to them, "Do not worry about your life, what you eat; or about your body, what you will wear... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?"  Oh boy. Talk about a smack in the face! Every time I hear this verse, I feel like God is shouting at me, waving His arms around to get my attention: "Hey Grace, remember what I have told you over and over again? I am in control, and your worrying won't do you any good! I've got this, I know what's going on. You just need to trust Me! You can't do anything about the situation, but come to Me and I will comfort you and guide you." Anyone else feel that way?

I have forgotten and even ignored the fact that God is in control and there's no amount of worrying I can do to change the situation. Recently, my mom became very ill and ended up in the hospital. Now, my mom never lets a cold keep her down for more than a few hours, so I was pretty scared to see her hooked up to all the machines and such for nearly 2 weeks. And it didn't help that I was on the other side of the state, unable to do anything but sit and wait for any updates to come. I made myself sick and kept myself up at night with all the questions and concerns running through my head. 'She might be sicker than the doctors realize; if she's this sick, there's no way she can work, and without her working I can't afford college tuition; why am I stuck hours away with loads of schoolwork to do, and unable to concentrate; what if she doesn't get better?' I felt so alone for days, no matter how many emails, texts, and hugs I got. But you know what I didn't do enough of? Pray. Seek God's comfort. Seek His love. Sure, my dad, friends, and people from church kept saying "God's in control, everything will be ok. He's taking care of everything." Yet it didn't feel like enough, like something was missing. It wasn't until days later that I realized I wasn't trusting God at all to fix the situation or to do what He knew was necessary and in His plan! I realized that I was hoping God would make everything better, but I wasn't trusting His plan and His voice reminding me to let Him have control. But He's been shaping me, and I have learned to trust Him rather than worry about the situation. By no means am I anywhere near perfect, but through this, God has taught me to trust my Shepherd who protects me and provides for me, and I am so thankful that He has brought healing through the darkness. I don't have to be scared or anxious about anything, because He is in control!

Comments

  1. What a beautiful post...so genuine...so honest! What a refreshing reminder that we don't always have to have it all together perfectly! That is what makes grace so amazing! Love you girl!

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