Have you ever wondered why God seems to be taking so long to answer your prayers, or to reveal His Plan to you? This is the story of my summer where God didn't seem to answer my prayers until what I considered the last minute.
Before I go too much further, I want to put Psalm 37:4 in your mind: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." This verse is key to my summer story, so keep it in the back of your mind as you read!
Fourteen years ago, God placed a calling on my heart to be a teacher. Yes, I'm one of those people who just knew long before college began what career path I'd be taking, although I did question my choice quite a bit a few times in the middle! I went to PBA in West Palm Beach, studied Elementary Education, and was on the 'right track' to graduate with my degree and land a job as a teacher in a Christian school. During my last semester of Student Teaching at a Christian School in Palm Beach County, it seemed that God was opening up some doors to have a job at that school in the fall. Everything seemed to be perfect! It would be in a familiar environment, with people I loved working with, and kept me near West Palm Beach at an amazing church. In January, I was under the impression everything would work out just how I thought it needed to! But then in March, I was informed that there would probably not be an opening at the school where I wanted to teach. I begged God daily to open a door to stay at that school, to make something work out, but God firmly closed that door a few weeks before graduation.
One week before graduation, I had no plans for the summer or the fall. I had been wanting to intern at my church in West Palm Beach for the past 3 summers, but it never seemed to work out. In God's timing, He opened up the door to allow me to stay in West Palm Beach for that internship (finally!!). When did those plans fall into place? About one week before I was scheduled to move home for the foreseeable future. God's timing was perfect, even if I thought it was cutting it a little close.
May 7th approached quicker than I ever thought it would. Graduation day came, and I was still without a job. I was dreading moving home, fighting it every step of the way. Sure, many of my friends were in the same boat, but I had always known exactly what was going to happen; all my dreams had become realities up until this point, so why were my dreams falling in around me? That night, as we drove home, we stopped at a Walmart where I had to run in and pick up Mothers Day cards for the next day (procrastination, much?). As I headed up to the register, I noticed a little canvas that had Psalm 37:4 printed on it. I bought that canvas, thinking nothing much of it at the time. I like wall art, and it had a great Bible verse on it. Not a bad idea, right? Little did I know how crucial that little canvas would be the rest of the summer.
When I arrived back in West Palm mid-May to begin the internship, I had a job lined up at a tutoring center part-time. My internship provided housing, but I needed some sort of income to be able to eat. I went in, signed the paperwork, and started my training. As I started my training, my supervisor told me I'd only be able to work up to 10 hours a week. At the pay rate I'd be receiving, the money I'd make would barely be enough to cover gas costs and one meal at a fast food place each week. I made the hard decision of quitting before I could even start. What had seemed perfect fell through once more. I was confused, I was disappointed. My parents suggested I consider quitting the internship and moving home for the summer to work where I had the previous summer. Their suggestion brought tears to my eyes, as my heart broke at the thought of leaving this church family whom I love dearly. I made the tough decision to stay in the internship and try to find a different part-time job. Little did I know what God had in store, and how His timing would work out even better than I could imagine.
Fast-forward to mid-June. The preschool director at my church was moving to another state, and one of the pastors asked if I'd be willing to fill in as the interim until they could hire someone to take on the position full-time. I said of course, I'm happy to help out in any way I can! It was a brand-new kind of adventure, but I felt like God was pulling me out of my comfort zone. Little did I know it was a paid position! Just when I had given up on having any sort of income for the summer, God dropped this opportunity right into my lap! If I'd stayed with the other job, I would never have been able to work in the ministry in this capacity! Like I said, God's Plan and His Timing for it are always better than what we could ever imagine! (P.S. I'm honestly still surprised I said yes, since for the last 10 years I said I'd never want to work in a church office like my mom did... Never say never, especially when trying to convince God of how your life should go!)
But the summer job didn't help the fact that I was still without a job for the fall. By this point in the summer, I had turned down a job offer and cancelled an interview that could have led to a job offer that on the outside seemed perfect. Why? Because I felt God telling me He had something better in store. Can I just tell you what a difficult step of faith that is?! But each time I turned down the offer for a job or even an interview, God filled my heart with His peace that transcends all understanding, and He reminded me to continue delighting in Him. He reminded me that as I continued to delight in Him, He would reveal His Plan for my life in an amazing way, and I had to just trust His promise from Psalm 37:4 (see, told you it was a crucial verse this summer!).
So now we're at the end of June. There's been an answered prayer of summer income, but still no job offer for August. On a Monday night, at our weekly intern dinner, I asked the girls in my small group to pray that God would provide the perfect job, and that it'd be in West Palm Beach. This was at 10:00PM. The next day at lunch, (yes, just over 12 hours later) I got a call from a Christian school in Palm Beach County where I had applied and been told there were no openings at the beginning of May. The principal asked me to come in by the end of the week for an interview. That Thursday, I interviewed and was basically offered a job pending enrollment! What an answer to prayer, and what a whirlwind of a week! Within 3 days, God answered my prayer and opened up my dream job as a 4th grade teacher in a Christian school! Again, Psalm 37:4 came to mind. For 6 months, I had been praying that God would open up a job at the school where I wanted to teach. As soon as my prayer changed to, "God, provide the job where You want me to be," He revealed His plan. As I began to delight myself in the Lord, I saw how the desires of my heart changed a bit. It became less of what I wanted and more of whatever God had in store. Sure I knew that would be true, but it took 6 long months of waiting to figure it out.
Now, I would have to move to West Palm Beach, away from home, and figure out what life would look like come August. I finished out the internship/interim position, and went home for a few days before I started at the school. I figured God would have opened up the housing plan as soon as I was offered the job, but that didn't happen. I searched high and low for a place to live, changing my search criteria weekly it seemed. Roommate, no roommate. Low price point, higher price point. One location, another location. A week before school started, I thought I found the perfect place. It was a tiny bit above my budget, but there were going to be ways to make it work. I went in with an application, ready to sign a lease and move in a few days later. But God didn't want me there, and slammed that door right in my face. Okay, now what? I had arranged to stay with a few different people from church until I found something, but I knew I'd do better with my own place before school started. So Sunday night, I found myself on my knees before the Lord pleading with Him to show me where to look for a place to live within my budget. Monday, exactly one week before students would be arriving in my classroom for the first day of school, (again, His Timing, not mine) I found a place. The following Saturday, just 2 days before school started, I signed the lease and moved in to my apartment.
Now, the first place I thought I found was close to work, which seemed perfect. The other place was closer to the church, which would work but I wondered why God closed the other door when it seemed so perfect. That answer I would get just a few days after school started. I got a call from one of the pastors at my church. He asked if I'd be willing to help lead the Preschool ministry volunteers and head up Sunday mornings for one of the church merge/launch teams we'd be starting in September. Many details went into my thinking and decision making, none of which are necessary here. But I felt God leading me up to the north campus launch project. I needed something to fill my weekend time, right? (That's sarcasm, in case you didn't pick up on that...) First year teachers don't need to add anything else to our busy schedules, but I did anyway. All of a sudden, I realized why God didn't open up the housing door near work: I'd never have been able to say Yes to this new church launch team opportunity. Ever since finishing the internship, I'd missed being involved in Sunday morning ministry. It'd only been 2 weeks, but I could tell I missed it terribly. Because God opened this 'last-minute' door to housing in the Downtown West Palm area, I was able to now commit to helping with a church launch at the north end of the county and work a ways south of downtown.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Little did I know in May that the desire God was placing on my heart was for Preschool ministry. All I did was follow where God was leading me over the course of the summer. What a roller coaster it was, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world! The way God has changed my heart and shaped my thinking of ministry goes beyond what I expected to happen. The internship was supposed to be a filler for the summer, something to do so I wasn't home doing nothing after graduation. But God used it to show me His plan for this season in my life.
I know this was a long post, but I hope it's been an encouragement to those of you who read through to the very end! I don't know where God is going to lead next, but I have a feeling He's not done extending this story and using the events of this summer to shape the rest of my life. Now I can see, though, that when I'm delighting in the Lord and following His guidance, He'll give me the peace and confirmation of where He's leading and open doors in ways I could never imagine!
Before I go too much further, I want to put Psalm 37:4 in your mind: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." This verse is key to my summer story, so keep it in the back of your mind as you read!
Fourteen years ago, God placed a calling on my heart to be a teacher. Yes, I'm one of those people who just knew long before college began what career path I'd be taking, although I did question my choice quite a bit a few times in the middle! I went to PBA in West Palm Beach, studied Elementary Education, and was on the 'right track' to graduate with my degree and land a job as a teacher in a Christian school. During my last semester of Student Teaching at a Christian School in Palm Beach County, it seemed that God was opening up some doors to have a job at that school in the fall. Everything seemed to be perfect! It would be in a familiar environment, with people I loved working with, and kept me near West Palm Beach at an amazing church. In January, I was under the impression everything would work out just how I thought it needed to! But then in March, I was informed that there would probably not be an opening at the school where I wanted to teach. I begged God daily to open a door to stay at that school, to make something work out, but God firmly closed that door a few weeks before graduation.
One week before graduation, I had no plans for the summer or the fall. I had been wanting to intern at my church in West Palm Beach for the past 3 summers, but it never seemed to work out. In God's timing, He opened up the door to allow me to stay in West Palm Beach for that internship (finally!!). When did those plans fall into place? About one week before I was scheduled to move home for the foreseeable future. God's timing was perfect, even if I thought it was cutting it a little close.
May 7th approached quicker than I ever thought it would. Graduation day came, and I was still without a job. I was dreading moving home, fighting it every step of the way. Sure, many of my friends were in the same boat, but I had always known exactly what was going to happen; all my dreams had become realities up until this point, so why were my dreams falling in around me? That night, as we drove home, we stopped at a Walmart where I had to run in and pick up Mothers Day cards for the next day (procrastination, much?). As I headed up to the register, I noticed a little canvas that had Psalm 37:4 printed on it. I bought that canvas, thinking nothing much of it at the time. I like wall art, and it had a great Bible verse on it. Not a bad idea, right? Little did I know how crucial that little canvas would be the rest of the summer.
When I arrived back in West Palm mid-May to begin the internship, I had a job lined up at a tutoring center part-time. My internship provided housing, but I needed some sort of income to be able to eat. I went in, signed the paperwork, and started my training. As I started my training, my supervisor told me I'd only be able to work up to 10 hours a week. At the pay rate I'd be receiving, the money I'd make would barely be enough to cover gas costs and one meal at a fast food place each week. I made the hard decision of quitting before I could even start. What had seemed perfect fell through once more. I was confused, I was disappointed. My parents suggested I consider quitting the internship and moving home for the summer to work where I had the previous summer. Their suggestion brought tears to my eyes, as my heart broke at the thought of leaving this church family whom I love dearly. I made the tough decision to stay in the internship and try to find a different part-time job. Little did I know what God had in store, and how His timing would work out even better than I could imagine.
Fast-forward to mid-June. The preschool director at my church was moving to another state, and one of the pastors asked if I'd be willing to fill in as the interim until they could hire someone to take on the position full-time. I said of course, I'm happy to help out in any way I can! It was a brand-new kind of adventure, but I felt like God was pulling me out of my comfort zone. Little did I know it was a paid position! Just when I had given up on having any sort of income for the summer, God dropped this opportunity right into my lap! If I'd stayed with the other job, I would never have been able to work in the ministry in this capacity! Like I said, God's Plan and His Timing for it are always better than what we could ever imagine! (P.S. I'm honestly still surprised I said yes, since for the last 10 years I said I'd never want to work in a church office like my mom did... Never say never, especially when trying to convince God of how your life should go!)
But the summer job didn't help the fact that I was still without a job for the fall. By this point in the summer, I had turned down a job offer and cancelled an interview that could have led to a job offer that on the outside seemed perfect. Why? Because I felt God telling me He had something better in store. Can I just tell you what a difficult step of faith that is?! But each time I turned down the offer for a job or even an interview, God filled my heart with His peace that transcends all understanding, and He reminded me to continue delighting in Him. He reminded me that as I continued to delight in Him, He would reveal His Plan for my life in an amazing way, and I had to just trust His promise from Psalm 37:4 (see, told you it was a crucial verse this summer!).
So now we're at the end of June. There's been an answered prayer of summer income, but still no job offer for August. On a Monday night, at our weekly intern dinner, I asked the girls in my small group to pray that God would provide the perfect job, and that it'd be in West Palm Beach. This was at 10:00PM. The next day at lunch, (yes, just over 12 hours later) I got a call from a Christian school in Palm Beach County where I had applied and been told there were no openings at the beginning of May. The principal asked me to come in by the end of the week for an interview. That Thursday, I interviewed and was basically offered a job pending enrollment! What an answer to prayer, and what a whirlwind of a week! Within 3 days, God answered my prayer and opened up my dream job as a 4th grade teacher in a Christian school! Again, Psalm 37:4 came to mind. For 6 months, I had been praying that God would open up a job at the school where I wanted to teach. As soon as my prayer changed to, "God, provide the job where You want me to be," He revealed His plan. As I began to delight myself in the Lord, I saw how the desires of my heart changed a bit. It became less of what I wanted and more of whatever God had in store. Sure I knew that would be true, but it took 6 long months of waiting to figure it out.
Now, I would have to move to West Palm Beach, away from home, and figure out what life would look like come August. I finished out the internship/interim position, and went home for a few days before I started at the school. I figured God would have opened up the housing plan as soon as I was offered the job, but that didn't happen. I searched high and low for a place to live, changing my search criteria weekly it seemed. Roommate, no roommate. Low price point, higher price point. One location, another location. A week before school started, I thought I found the perfect place. It was a tiny bit above my budget, but there were going to be ways to make it work. I went in with an application, ready to sign a lease and move in a few days later. But God didn't want me there, and slammed that door right in my face. Okay, now what? I had arranged to stay with a few different people from church until I found something, but I knew I'd do better with my own place before school started. So Sunday night, I found myself on my knees before the Lord pleading with Him to show me where to look for a place to live within my budget. Monday, exactly one week before students would be arriving in my classroom for the first day of school, (again, His Timing, not mine) I found a place. The following Saturday, just 2 days before school started, I signed the lease and moved in to my apartment.
Now, the first place I thought I found was close to work, which seemed perfect. The other place was closer to the church, which would work but I wondered why God closed the other door when it seemed so perfect. That answer I would get just a few days after school started. I got a call from one of the pastors at my church. He asked if I'd be willing to help lead the Preschool ministry volunteers and head up Sunday mornings for one of the church merge/launch teams we'd be starting in September. Many details went into my thinking and decision making, none of which are necessary here. But I felt God leading me up to the north campus launch project. I needed something to fill my weekend time, right? (That's sarcasm, in case you didn't pick up on that...) First year teachers don't need to add anything else to our busy schedules, but I did anyway. All of a sudden, I realized why God didn't open up the housing door near work: I'd never have been able to say Yes to this new church launch team opportunity. Ever since finishing the internship, I'd missed being involved in Sunday morning ministry. It'd only been 2 weeks, but I could tell I missed it terribly. Because God opened this 'last-minute' door to housing in the Downtown West Palm area, I was able to now commit to helping with a church launch at the north end of the county and work a ways south of downtown.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Little did I know in May that the desire God was placing on my heart was for Preschool ministry. All I did was follow where God was leading me over the course of the summer. What a roller coaster it was, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world! The way God has changed my heart and shaped my thinking of ministry goes beyond what I expected to happen. The internship was supposed to be a filler for the summer, something to do so I wasn't home doing nothing after graduation. But God used it to show me His plan for this season in my life.
I know this was a long post, but I hope it's been an encouragement to those of you who read through to the very end! I don't know where God is going to lead next, but I have a feeling He's not done extending this story and using the events of this summer to shape the rest of my life. Now I can see, though, that when I'm delighting in the Lord and following His guidance, He'll give me the peace and confirmation of where He's leading and open doors in ways I could never imagine!
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